Hello World
by Lujan Studios
Summary: This is a test of the publish tool, new to this wanted to see how it works.


Changes

Old Kingdom Trilogy

Table of Contents

Changes1

Table of Contents1

Chapter 1: The Aftermath1

Chapter 2: Abhorsen's House6

Chapter 3: A Rushed Goodbye12

Chapter 1: The Aftermath

"_Nick managed to stand and wave, and in the space of that tiny movement and its startled response, he had time to wonder what all the future held, and think it would be much brighter than the past..."_

Sam gave a start as he saw Nick's body sit up and struggle to its feet. He thought he was imagining it, that he was delirious but then Nick waved enthusiastically with his healthy hand and grinned. Sam almost ran to his friend but remembered he was supporting Lirael between himself and his father.

"Go to him."

The quiet voice startled Sameth more than Nick standing up. Lirael had spoken and she smiled at him. A weak smile but a smile none the less. She had been through a lot in the past couple of hours and it showed. One arm ended in a new stump, a reminder of what had just happened. Sam returned the smile to Lirael, equally weary but hopeful. Then he turned to rush to Nick in the distance.

"Nick!" he cried joyfully as his friend limped towards him. He looked awful close up, more reminders of what Nick had been through, what they had all been through. He was pale. More pale than he had been before he had died. He looked ghostly and for a moment Sameth thought that was what Nick was, until Nick hit him on the back in a friendly manner. He had bruises across his chest and dried blood around his mouth. Flies were settling on his wounds and he looked ill.

"Sameth, you did it," Nick answered. "You stopped the Destroyer."

"It was mainly down to Lirael," Sam replied modestly. "I...I thought..." He stopped and looked at Nick who nodded.

"I was dead. But look," he raised a hand to his head and parted his hair. A Charter Mark stood gleaming on his forehand. It had not been there before.

"How did you get that?" Sam asked in surprise. "Who baptized you? Hedge? But it wasn't there when you..." He stopped again.

"The Dog baptised me to preserve my spirit in Death or some nonsense." Nick stopped and his face changed. When he next spoke it was quiet and strange. "She stopped me going too far into Death. In fact, she sent me back to Life. I don't know why though," Nick mused.

The group who were supporting Lirael reached the pair of young men and stopped near them.

"Nick, you're okay," Lirael said eagerly but then ducked her head behind her hair as she realized how eager she sounded. A hint of a blush appeared on her pale cheeks.

"Yes, I am," Nick replied sounding surprised. "But you're not. It's all my fault."

Lirael looked up from her curtain of hair. It had fallen out during the battle and she looked beautiful to Nicholas. Her eyes held sympathy for him and he felt a strange feeling in his chest. He didn't know what it was or what it meant.

"It's not your fault. Anyone could have been used. You were just unlucky," she smiled to him. Sam noted that this smile was much warmer than her smile to him, much more hopeful. Sameth looked between his aunt and his best friend. Lirael had gained a little confidence and was looking at Nick with a strange look in her eye. Nicholas was looking at Lirael too, in a similar way, until Sam coughed. Then the pair tore their eyes from each other, both going a different shade of red.

Then Lirael fell to the floor, fatigue finally overcoming her.

"I've never had that affect on anyone before," Nick whispered to Sam as a Crossing Scout came running towards them all with stretchers and equipment.

Then Nick passed out.

Sameth shook his head and helped lift Nicholas onto a stretcher when one arrived.

*********

When Lirael woke she felt something warm and golden spiralling around her head. She blinked several times, unsure what was happening. Then she saw Sabriel bent over her, hands making swift motions across her, Charter marks flying into her chest. Lirael felt some of her pain and weariness leave her, though the emotional pain of losing the Dog and all that had happened recently still held tightly onto her mind.

Sabriel smiled when she saw Lirael flutter her eyelids.

"How do you feel?" she asked Lirael and Lirael numbly smiled. She was still in disbelief that the legendary Abhorsen, Sabriel, was her sister.

"Okay I suppose," Lirael sighed. She felt comforted by Sabriel's presence.

"We're going to sort out, erm, diplomatic matters here and when you and Nicholas are strong enough, all of us are going to go to the House to discuss what happened," Sabriel told Lirael. "I am curious to know what happened while I was away. It seems that a lot happened."

Lirael nodded. It was all that she could manage. Her stomach had tightened at the thought of going back to the Old Kingdom. Back to the House. But not to the Glacier. And without the Dog.

Sabriel turned and walked over to a group of people in the distance and Lirael felt tears well up in her eyes at the thought of the Dog. Her best friend was gone. Lirael searched her pockets, looking for the statue, which had summoned the Dog in the first place. She found it beside her and pulled it close to her cheek, wetting it with the tear that had slid down her face. Her body shook with sobs.

"Are you okay?"

Lirael gave a start as she heard someone speak to her. She turned her head and saw Nick on another stretcher next to her. His wounds had been healed by Sabriel, to some degree; there were still some open wounds where the Charter marks had not worked. Some were bandaged with Ancelstierrian bandages. His eyes looked red and Lirael saw an age-old weariness settle on the young man's shoulders.

"My friend...the Dog..." Lirael whispered. "She's gone."

"Ah, the Dog. The one you were with that time. Or was that a dream?" Nick asked.

"That was real," Lirael answered.

"She saved me. The Dog. She bought me back to Life."

Lirael's eyes brightened slightly. She leaned onto her side and looked at Nick deeply.

"Is she....is she alright"? Lirael asked him.

"Yes, I think so. She seemed to have accepted that she was not coming back. But she seemed happy too. I think she would have wanted you to know that," Nicholas said. Lirael nodded, tears stinging her eyes again.

"I think she knew it was time to leave," Lirael said softly. "Now that I know where I belong. Now that I've found my family and have made friends."

Nicholas nodded solemnly, although he did not fully understand.

"What do you think will happen now?" Nicholas asked her as they watched some soldiers usher some Southerlings to a tent in the distance.

"Abhorsen Sabriel and the King will sort it out," Lirael sighed as she watched the sun peek from behind a cloud. At one time she had thought that she would not see the sun again. Now she relished its warmth. "Then we will go home. What about you? What will you do?"

"I think I'll come and stay with you, for a week at least. Until I know how I feel about everything," Nicholas replied, equally tired.

"Will you stay?" Lirael asked. For some reason her heart quickened and she had a longing for Nick to stay. To be with her.

"I really do not know. I do have this peculiar mark on my head now so maybe I will investigate your strange culture. I feel open minded now. But maybe I should recover at home first..." he stopped and thought about something and Lirael felt her heart drop. Maybe he had someone at home to go back to. Not that she really knew what it was she was feeling.

"Well, at least come to the house with us. I think you need to understand what happened and why," Lirael said wisely. She had never been able to talk to anyone else like this before. Except the Dog and Sam, after a while. She felt comfortable around him. When she looked at him, he smiled warmly like he had before and Lirael felt her heart swoop.

"I will," Nick replied and he extended his hand to hers, slipping his fingers between hers so their hands interlocked. Lirael gripped his hand tightly and let her eyes shut for some much needed rest.

*********

When Lirael woke for the second time, she was on a bed in a tent and it was early morning. Weak sunrays managed to sneak into the green tent she was in and warm her cheek. Lirael sat up, surprised at how energetic she felt. She went to put both hands on the bed to climb out but her stump caught the bed instead. A sharp pain went up her arm and tears dribbled from her eyes. Lirael moved her arm up to look at it, remembering what had happened and how the Dog had bitten her hand off. She wondered if Sameth could make her new hand, now that he had inherited the Wallmaker's office. She wouldn't be a very good Abhorsen if she only had one hand.

Lirael yawned widely, the sleep she had just had washing over her briefly. She stretched and got up out of bed. The pain of losing her hand was nothing to the pain of losing the Dog. But she knew she had to carry on. She had to start her new life with a different outlook to the one she had had before. Instead of longing for what she would never possess, she would have to learn to harness the gifts she had been given.

Lirael opened the tent flap and stepped out into the sunshine. There was a bustle of people moving around doing jobs. Lirael noted that most of the Southerlings had been evacuated in the night.

She heard some soldier's talking as she left the tent.

"Corolini has been driven out. Lost his power, I heard. And the Sayre's came to their senses and voted against him. So it'll be alright getting the rest of them Southerlings down South," one soldier said to the other as they passed Lirael. "It's better than them going to the Old Kingdom. I wouldn't if you paid me. Morning Abhorsen, ma'am," he nodded at Lirael as they noticed her.

Lirael sighed, stretched and walked towards Sameth, Ellimere, Sabriel and Touchstone.

"Morning," she said shyly as they looked up. They all smiled warmly.

"Good morning," Ellimere said bristling with energy. "We're just planning our route back to the House."

Lirael gave a look to Sameth, which plainly said, "is she always like this?" Sam nodded slowly, grinning.

"Where's Nicholas?" she asked and then blushed as she saw Touchstone and Sabriel share meaningful glances.

"He's cleaning up, I believe," Touchstone answered and Lirael blushed deeper. He had a presence that made her nervous. "He has agreed to accompany us to the House."

"When do we leave?" Lirael asked, trying to still her beating heart. Her cheeks felt uncomfortably hot.

"As soon as possible," Sabriel said. "I want to get out of here as soon as I can. Then we can begin to sort out the mess that Corolini left behind."

Lirael was surprised to see how old Sabriel looked as she spoke. The light cast shadows across her face and caught the lines. It occurred to Lirael that she, was the Abhorsen-in-Waiting, and she, would take over from Sabriel. Sabriel was not getting any younger and would need Lirael's help.

"I better get ready then," Lirael said although she was sure that no one was listening. She felt like she had intruded on a family moment that she was not a part of. But as she turned to walk away, she found Sam walking along beside her.

"How are you?" he asked her as they strode to the tent.

"Fine."

"It'll get better," Sam said in response to Lirael's grim look ahead. "Everything will. It'll settle down. You just need to let it."

Lirael looked at Sameth and saw a concern there. Then she realised what it must have looked like, her rushing off the way she did.

"I know Sam," Lirael smiled. "At least I know where I belong."

"Now, about you and Nick," Sameth began and Lirael instantly became defensive.

"There's nothing to discuss," she said hotly. Never before had she spoken to anyone like that before, never before had she reacted so aggressively.

"I saw your face when you saw him yesterday," Sam teased and Lirael hit him. They walked into the tent together and Nick was sitting on the bed, strapping his boots on.

"Sam, Lirael," he beamed as they walked in. "I can't wait to see this peculiar house of yours. Ellimere says that waterfall is spectacular."

"It is," Lirael answered, glaring at Sam when she caught his glance.

She pulled on her coat of armour and the bandoleer of bells. She checked all the bells were in place, especially Astarael who she was wary of, more so since her encounter with her beneath the House. Lirael went to sheath her sword, then remembered that Sameth had made it into the sword which had bound Orannis and she no longer had one.

"Here," Sam said passing her a sword. "It isn't a spelled sword. I could run a few Charter marks into it if you want."

"We should be okay getting back to the House, shouldn't we?" she asked unsurely. Sam nodded.

"Mother should be able to take care of any stray Dead," Sam replied. "Are you ready Nick? Mother is eager to be off."

Nick nodded, pulling on some armour that a solider had given him.

"Yes," Nick answered. "How we are travelling?"

"I think by horse or on foot. It's not that far," Sam said. Lirael and Nicholas nodded and then walked towards the tent flap.

The small group of people left the tent, unsure of what was ahead of them and unsure of who they had become.

Chapter 2: Abhorsen's House

To Sabriel's annoyance, they could not get leave for a week and even then, the preparations would take them another week to finish. Therefore, they could not leave Ancelstierre for a fortnight at the earliest. The small group had set up camp with the army personnel, away from the desolate area that had been left in the Destroyer's wake. Other people from further down South had come up to investigate. They were made up of strange people, even for Ancelstierre and bought strange equipment with them. They made all who spoke to them feel uncomfortable.

Throughout the two weeks that the group had to stay in Ancelstierre, Lirael learned much about her new family. Ellimere attempted to organise Lirael's new life at the palace, the same way she had organised Sameth's. Touchstone taught her a few new ways to battle with a sword and promised to show her how to use twin swords. While Touchstone was showing Lirael how to defend herself in Life, Sabriel talked to Lirael about Death.

Soon Lirael came to feel settled around the small family and more comfortable, although she did not notice this herself, other people saw her become a little more confident. Yet only one person really bought this out in Lirael and that person was Nicholas Sayre.

Nick was still worse for wear. He could not walk very far without having to stop to catch his breath. His wounds still seemed fresh and most Charter marks would not hold on them; only a few strange, strong marks seemed to make a difference and even then, it was insignificant. Sabriel had also noted that Nick seemed to be wounded much deeper than his abrasions and cuts. Sabriel had explained to him, one day, that his small time in Death had leeched some of his soul away and only time could heal that damage. She also tried to explain how the small segment of Orannis had affected him internally and externally.

"You will have some remains of Free Magic in you, although your Charter mark balances this. It also explains why the Charter magic will not hold and your recovery is so slow. Although, you have suffered great damage mentally and damage to the soul. Time will heal that damage. Your wounds should fade too, but you will feel weak and clumsy for months to come. I feel you should come to the Old Kingdom to recover. We can offer you the accommodation and help you need," she told him one day as they watched Lirael fight Touchstone. She had greatly improved with his training and she had an unconscious smile on her face. While she worked, she forgot about her pain.

"I wish I could do something to help," Nick sighed as he sat on the grassy bank beside Sabriel. His sigh sounded raspy and weak. "I feel so useless sitting her like an old man."

"You can't rush your recovery or you will never fully recover," Sabriel replied wisely. "You could help Sameth with his work. It is not strenuous."

Nicholas did not reply. He was watching Lirael, and as the light caught her hair, wondering if she could love someone like him, someone who had caused so much pain and damage.

******

It had taken them one day to travel to the House on horseback. It would have been less, but Nick had never travelled by horse before and was still weary from his tribulations. Lirael had never travelled by horse but found that her mount was friendly to beginners. Nick's steed was less friendly and kept trying to throw him over its head, adding to his bruises, much to Lirael's amusement.

Even though Nick repeatedly ended up on the floor, he still enjoyed seeing the sights the Old Kingdom had to offer. They did not run into any trouble that Sabriel and Lirael could not handle; a stray Dead Hand that had lost its way or a small Free Magic creature that had been awoken when Orannis had become whole. Nick always watched with apt attention and interest; he had not seen Dead Hands so close, before he had been ill, and the experience was welcome to him.

"Interesting," he mused as he watched Sabriel ring Saraneth in an arc. "They seem to be animated corpses."

"Are you more willing to accept the Old Kingdom now?" Sameth asked with mild amusement on his face. He felt safe with his mother and Dad near, a little less afraid of Death. Afraid, nevertheless, but safer too.

"I will investigate your strange culture a little more open-mindedly," Nick smiled, and then laughed at the incredulous look on Sameth's face. "Ha ha, your face Sam. No, I do feel different. Connected, it seems. It may have something to do with this," he pointed at the Charter mark on his head.

"I'll have to teach you all about the Charter," Sam laughed excitedly. "And about Charter marks and spells."

Nick smiled along but deep inside he felt a little afraid and wary. He wasn't sure if he was going to stay in the Old Kingdom. He looked across at Lirael who was carefully mounting her horse again. Her long black hair fell about her shoulders and framed her pale face. She looked over her shoulder and saw Nicholas watching her. Nick felt his cheeks turning red, a stark contrast to Lirael's white but she smiled happily at him. She'd never looked so peaceful before. Nicholas felt a longing to stay build up in his chest again.

Yet he was ashamed. He felt that he could not stay in the Old Kingdom, especially since he had almost destroyed their home. He might even be dangerous to them, with Free Magic running through his veins and only the Charter mark on his hand to balance the flow. He wondered what his father would say when he returned home. If he returned home. This lead him to thinking about what would happen if he did not return home. Would his parents be upset?

The horse interrupted his thoughts again and threw him over its head and into a small stream. He shook his wet hair out of his eyes and picked up his glasses, which had landed ahead of him. As he went to climb out of the water, a hand extended in front of him. He looked up to see Lirael there, offering to help him up. He accepted the hand and she pulled him up. Nick looked over her shoulder to see Sameth and Ellimere laughing at him. When he looked at Lirael, he saw that she was looking at him with concern rather than mirth.

"Are you alright?" she asked him as they walked back to his horse. "Do you want to change mount?"

"No, I am fine with this crazy mare," Nicholas replied, gesturing to the horse that was waiting.

"Maybe you would like to ride on the back of my horse with me? You could hold on," Lirael said.

Nick smiled as Lirael turned away a little, trying to hide her shame.

"Of course I will. That sounds like a compromise. Not quite the way a proper Sayre would treat a lady, but I never was a very good Sayre," Nicholas asked. He strode across to the horse and helped Lirael up, even though it caused him great pain to do so. He never showed the pain or exhaustion.

When Lirael had settled herself on the steed, she offered her hand, once again, to Nick. He accepted and eventually they were seated together on the saddle. Nicholas slipped his arms around Lirael's waist, noting how warm she was and how she trembled. She turned briefly, to check Nick was on, then clicked her tongue and the horse began to move.

They took a slow steady pace through the Old Kingdom for the rest of the day, with no more interruptions from Nicholas or the Dead. When the path to the Long Cliffs showed nothing but a dead end, Ellimere and Sameth increased their speed and raced each other to the white walls of rock. Nicholas and Lirael shared a confused look; Lirael had never been this way and Nicholas had never been in the Old Kingdom proper. They continued to follow Touchstone and Sabriel, who had laughed as their children had rushed off to beat the other to the cliffs.

A few minutes later, Touchstone, Sabriel, Lirael and Nicholas reached the cliff face where they found Ellimere and Sameth arguing about who got to the cliffs first. Sabriel shook her head, pulling out Mosrael, the Waker. Carefully, she felt for any nearby Dead that would be awoken when she rung the bell. When she was sure that they were no Dead near, she swung Mosrael in long sweeps and the cry of Mosrael sounded, echoing around them, causing everyone to put their hands over their ears. The raucous sound of Mosrael eventually faded and they stood and waited.

As they waited Lirael examined the Charter marks embedded in the Long Cliffs and realised that they were at a door, which required Mosrael to be opened. As she ran her hands across the cliff, the door suddenly appeared and opened in one movement. A Sending stood on the other side of the door and Lirael jumped as she saw it. Sabriel laughed gently and walked past Lirael handing the Sending the horse's lead.

Lirael turned and saw everyone leave their horse with the Sending apart from Nicholas who was looking at it with a sense of awe. He clambered down from the horse, hardly noticing the pain that shot through his leg as he landed funny. He peered closely at the Sending, his glasses sliding down to the end of his nose.

Lirael smiled at Nick's fascination with something new and handed her horse over to the Sending. They seemed to be an area just behind the Sending for mounts and the other horses were all grazing on some grain there.

"What is this?"

The voice snapped Lirael from her revere and she turned to face Nicholas. He was running his hands all around the Sending, sometimes putting them through it. He shivered every time he did and Lirael knew what he was feeling from her experiences with Sendings.

"It's a Sending. They are made from Charter marks and they do our bidding and mundane tasks, which we do not wish to do. Some can be made to guard and this Sending is a guard. It must guard the doorway to the house. It seems to be rather new too," Lirael answered walking to the Sending. "It is armed, see." She pointed to its sword and armour.

"Fascinating. Truly fascinating," Nick smiled. "I can see all sorts of symbols and marks whenever I put my hand through it, though it feels cold, like water."

"That would be the Charter. You are connected now. If you touch my Charter mark," she gestured to it. "You will feel the same thing."

Nicholas looked up and saw Lirael's mark, just clear through her black fringe. She drew back her hair, tucking the loose hairs behind her ears and parted her fringe. Nick took this as an invitation to touch her mark, so he drew two fingers as shown by Lirael. He gently pressed his fingers against her mark and was plunged into the never ending Charter. It felt warm and comforting, clear and pure. He moved his fingers away and was brought back to the passageway.

"It felt like it had no Beginning or End. How can that be?" Nicholas asked.

"I do not know why the Charter feels complete but I do know it had a Beginning." She shivered slightly and it was not from the cold.

"What happened at the Beginning?" Nicholas asked but a shout from Sabriel summoned them from their conversation.

"I will tell you one day, Nicholas," Lirael replied, slipping her hand into his. "One day when we are both ready."

******

The jump across the "stepping" stones had been a scary process for all involved; Nick was still too weak to do such feat so he had to be carried over the shoulder of Touchstone. Touchstone was hardly the most elegant person and it was nerve wrenching to see him hop from one stone to the other. Nick hardly approved of his position either.

"Being carried away on horseback by a young lady is one thing," he mused. "Being carried like a sack of potatoes is another."

"How else were you expecting to cross?" Touchstone asked, mildly irritated and mildly amused.

"By plane."

"Never again," Touchstone replied, shivering as he remembered the last plane he had been on; on being the operative word. He had been holding onto the wing and did not wish to repeat the experience. "Paperwings are bad enough."

Nicholas opened his mouth, as if to enquire what a Paperwing was, exactly, and then closed it as water spray filled it. He spluttered indignantly as Touchstone put him down safely on the other side.

"How'd it taste?" Sam joked as Nick shook his wet locks out of his face. The look he gave Sam was enough to explain, and Sameth burst into hysterical fits of laughter. "I never thought going home would feel this good," he said as they walked through the western courtyard.

When the group neared the House, both Lirael and Sameth gave the well in the distance a nervous look. Sabriel saw the glances.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, trying to see what they were looking at.

"It's just the well. I want to make sure it is secure," Sam said. He jogged off into the distance.

"Why?" Ellimere asked.

"To make sure that she can rest forever, knowing that she is outside what she chose to make," Lirael said to no one in particular, unaware of the dreamy way of speaking she had adopted and how much like a Clayr she sounded. She stared in the direction that Sam had disappeared to, her eyes unseeing and empty.

"Who is the she you spoke of?" Sabriel asked but Lirael shook her head, seeming wise from it all.

"In good time you will know," she sighed as Sam returned. "Roses?"

"Roses." Sam turned and looked. "Chained. No amaranth. No rosemary. Just sorrow."

Lirael nodded sadly and turned to continue the walk to the House. Sabriel watched the young woman go, unable to stop herself thinking about how much the young woman had been through. She had seemed so distant and worn, hurt and alone when she had spoken of the mysterious well dweller. Sabriel could not bring herself to think of what could possibly be down there. All she knew is that she had never wanted to go near the well.

An hour later, when everyone had been washed thoroughly by the Sendings, they met in the study on the fourth floor. Ellimere had seated herself at the desk and was busy writing a letter to the palace. Sameth was busy showing Nicholas a simple Charter mark, one for light. Nick was so far managing to create a dim glow. Lirael was at the window staring out at the Ratterlin, remembering when she came downstream with the _Finder,_from the Glacier. She knew she had to return there at some point. To say goodbye. She would not do what her mother had. She would explain.

Sabriel and Touchstone entered the room with a tray of snacks and an annoyed Sending who wanted to do its job. Touchstone shooed it away and it turned silently and left.

"Well," he said briskly and shortly whilst Sabriel proffered the tray around. Sameth snapped up some carrots.

"What about your story first," Sameth sprayed carrot everywhere as he spoke. "Why did the Ancelstierrians believe you to be dead?"

"There was an assassination attempt as we went to a garden party in Corvere," Sabriel answered more politely than Touchstone. "We almost died but thanks to Damed's quick thinking, we are still here. Damed and many others died."

"And that is all really. We were getting close to sealing Corolini out, except for them damn Sayres," he paused and looked over at Nick. "I'm sorry, I did not mean any offence. The Sayres were worried about you and believed that we had 'done away' with you."

Nicholas looked embarrassed.

"I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused."

"Think nothing of it," Touchstone replied gruffly. "Anyway, it was all politics down our side."

Sabriel nodded in agreement. "It seems that much more happened here than down South."

Sameth looked at Ellimere this time, obviously delaying the time he would have to tell his story.

"Same here," she said, not looking up from her letter. "We were increasing the guard because Dead were appearing everywhere, mainly the missing Southerlings. Then the fog appeared and the Clayr's Sight suddenly became clear. Ironic really."

"We know Ellimere's story Sameth. We spoke to her on the way down to Forwin's Mill," Sabriel said gently. "It is you I want to hear from. You, Lirael and Nicholas."

Sam sighed.

"Well, I was trying to find a way of telling you that I was afraid of Death, that I could not be the Abhorsen-in-Waiting. I was ashamed though, and thought you would be too. Especially since we did not have another heir to take up the bells at that point. I was so afraid, I could not even read "_The Book of the Dead_," Sam shivered. "Then I went off to save Nick and could not defend myself against the Dead."

"I am so sorry Sam," Sabriel whispered, walking to him to hug him. "If I had spent more time with you, I would have known you were not the Abhorsen-in-Waiting. I would not have forced everything on you. You should have told me sooner that you were afraid of Death. I would not have been ashamed."

Sameth nodded vigorously, hiding his tears from Nick and Ellimere. He caught Lirael's eye and she smiled warmly at him.

"So that's where you went," Ellimere sighed in annoyance. "You should have told me. I would have prepared a guard to go with you."

"I thought you would have stopped me."

"No, I knew that something was happening. If you were worried about Nick, you should have said," Ellimere replied. "Instead of leaving on your own. That was dangerous."

"I was not on my own," Sameth snapped back childishly. "I had Mogget."

"Great. A cat that doubles up as a murderous Free Magic creature," Ellimere replied sarcastically.

As they argued, Lirael explained her story and what Sameth had told her when they had met.

"Then I went to the Ninth Precinct," she finished. "To See into the Past, and See how the Seven bound Orannis."

Everyone had become silent, as Lirael had told her tale. She had started from the beginning, to when she had been contemplating suicide on the Glacier and had seen Sabriel and Touchstone. She had recently remembered that event, and realised it had been lain dormant in her mind all this time.

"It's alright now though," Ellimere said sympathetically as she saw tears spring to Lirael's eyes. "You belong here now."

Chapter 3: A Rushed Goodbye

Nicholas sat in his bedroom with several books spread across his bed. They all referred to the Charter and various spells; different simple marks he could learn. He had memorised a few already; he could light a room, unlock simple doors, warm his hands, heal a cut and send Charter daggers across a room, his particular favourite. Although he was enjoying his time within the House and in the Old Kingdom, he could not help but feel like an intruder.

He jumped as a quiet knock sounded through the room.

"Come in," he called and Lirael walked into his room. She was wearing a pale purple dress and her hair held up in a loose bun. She did not smile as she walked across to him.

"Are you alright?" he asked her as she settled herself on the end of his bed. She was unconsciously smoothing out the creases, something Nicholas found himself entranced by.

"Yes. I just feel a little overwhelmed by everything. Sabriel has been teaching me about Death but I just know she will be called away again soon. Touchstone left this morning," she replied. She looked up at Nick anxiously. "How do you feel?"

Nicholas sighed and pushed his books to one side, sliding to be nearer Lirael.

"I feel similarly to you. I feel like I do not belong here. I mean...I caused so much damage, so much pain. And I have a family back home in Ancelstierre. People to go back to. I cannot just leave them worrying about me. I need to go back," Nicholas sighed. There, he had said it. Said what had been bothering him for the past couple of days. The look in Lirael's eyes spoke volumes. Hurt. But, then it was quickly replaced with concern and Nicholas was sure that he had just imagined it.

"I don't suppose Sabriel thought about that when she asked you to come. She was probably thinking about your recovery here, on this side of the wall," Lirael mused as they sat together in the dark room. Nicholas had conjured a Charter light but the marks were fast slipping from his mind. He could not focus on them, sitting so closely to Lirael. He could smell rose on her, feel her warmth, her hair as it brushed against his arm.

"Maybe," he said slowly. He wanted to ask Lirael if he should stay, but something held him back. He was too proud, he thought to himself, too proud and stupid.

"I will talk to Sameth about my return to Ancelstierre," he said suddenly. He felt stupid and he knew he had ruined the moment. Lirael had confided in him and now he was running away.

"I hope you find happiness wherever you travel," Lirael answered. She pulled him into an awkward hug. She had never hugged anyone before, except the Dog, but she felt a need to say goodbye properly to Nick. She loved him. She knew this now, after two weeks watching him in Ancelstierre and the conversation they had shared in the passageway, but he obviously felt nothing towards her. He must have someone else, she thought, someone waiting.

She turned and strode out of the room, proud and beautiful and Nicholas politely shut it on her, after wishing her a nice evening. When she was gone, he leant on the door, tears of shame and sorrow welling up in his eyes. He should have told her, but he had been afraid and ashamed. Always the same two emotions. As he slid down the door, he was unaware that Lirael was doing the same thing on the other side, silently crying as she thought of the man she loved and her missed chance to tell him.

******

"Are you sure you want to go back so soon?" Sameth asked Nicholas as they paced around the Upper Parlour, briefly passing each other as they walked clockwise and anti-clockwise.

"Yes. I never explained to my family why I left last time and I need to explain. They need to know that I am alright," Nicholas replied as the bright sun outside shone through the window. It was the middle of summer in the Old Kingdom.

"But you have only been here three days," Sam said. "Surely you want to stay longer. To discover who you are."

"I can do that at home." Nick caught the look on Sam's face. "I did not mean to be rude, Sam, I just want to make sure that everyone at home is fine and I do owe them an explanation."

Sam did not reply. He just continued to pace with his eyes to the floor. Nick felt bad for putting his friend through so much, but he wanted to leave. He was a danger to them, he was ashamed and he was afraid. He also loved Lirael and knew that he had to stay away to protect her. He did not want to hurt her. Sam, however, did not see it this way.

"If you want to return, I will organise a guard to escort you to the Wall. You will have to make your own way home from there," for a moment Sam sounded cold. Then he changed his tone. "You will write to me, won't you?" he asked.

"Of course I will, old friend," Nick smiled. "Don't expect anything less from Nicholas Sayre!"

Sam cracked a smile too.

"And one day," he added. "Come back to visit. Or stay. Whichever you feel ready for."

Nicholas nodded.

"Word of a Sayre," he said, one hand on heart, two fingers to his Charter mark. Sam touched Nick's Charter mark after he had dropped his hand and it flashed gold.

"We'll meet again. One day."

Sam nodded this time, hiding his pain.

******

Lirael watched Sabriel lead Nick across to the Long Cliffs. On the other side would be a waiting guard who would escort him back to the Wall. From there, Lirael did not know what he would do. All she knew is that it would not be with her. It would be with someone else. Those words stung, but all she could do was think about them. Nothing would distract her from the pain of losing someone else. Just when she was settling down and everything seemed sure.

She turned and walked back into the House, her long dark hair sweeping out behind her. Tears would come, she thought to herself, when she found the time to accept what had happened. But until then, she would live in blind hope that Nicholas would realise his mistake, turn around and run back to her, to sweep her up. A romantic's dream, she knew, but with all that she had lost already, she would not add to by losing her hope or accepting defeat. This was how she was going to live the rest of her life. With hope. She would make the future, not see it.

As Lirael was about to climb the stairs and return to her room, Ellimere came bursting through the main door into the hallway.

"Lirael! There are two people here to see you," she puffed as she came to a stop. She looked flustered and rushed.

"Nick," Lirael silently whispered to herself. Out loud she said, "where are they?"

"On the Paperwing platform," Ellimere answered as Lirael swiftly walked past. "Lirael!" she called after her aunt. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Lirael replied without turning around or letting up.

******

When she got near the platform, Lirael saw instantly that it was not Sabriel with Nick. Instead, stood next to two green and silver Paperwings, were Sanar and Ryelle. The twins looked beautiful as normal but as Lirael neared, she saw they were not the Voice of the Nine Day watch.

"Lirael," Sanar said as she embraced Lirael, kissing her on both cheeks. "It is pleasing to see that you look well."

"Likewise," Lirael said puzzled. "Why are you here?"

"We're here to take you back to the Glacier," Ryelle answered.

"Do I have to return? I thought I was the Abhorsen-in-Waiting. Or was it a mistake?" Lirael rushed feeling a familiar sense of unease and not belonging creep into her stomach.

"No, you are the heir to the Abhorsen's office. We are here to take you back so you can say goodbye," Sanar answered.

"We Saw you saying goodbye to Kirrith," Ryelle added.

"So we are bringing to the Glacier to make your journey easier."

Lirael stood there in front of Sanar and Ryelle with a strange feeling. She would be going to the Glacier for the last time if she left with them. And saying goodbye would mean admitting that she did not belong there, that she was going to leave and not return. Yet, she felt oddly relieved.

"I will accompany you to the Glacier, cousin," she said quietly. Her head was tilted so that her hair covered her face. "To the Glacier. For one last time."

She turned her head to look at the Long Cliffs in the distance, fading rapidly in the dying light. She thought of Nicholas one last time, then put her hope aside. She would meet him again. She knew. And she could wait until that time.

Because he was worth waiting for.

Lirael turned to face her past, climbing into the Paperwing with Sanar.

"One last time."


End file.
